Lunatic Minds...Bohemian Souls

April 19, 2010

Rules of Drunk Dialing

...Because etiquette is ALWAYS important ;)
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
2. It is okay to call someone 30 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.
3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you”
4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 A.M. asking to bend them over something.
5.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
6.Drunk texting is alright… If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
7.It is definitely a good idea to call all of your ex’s and remind them that you were the best lover they’ve ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
8.You can also call this same ex and let him/her know, that you know, that he/she still loves you.
Then explain to him/her that I would still love me too!
9.If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
10.It is always a good idea to sing on someone’s answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
11.Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed… Never angry.
12.Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that “you have a problem”.
13.If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
14.Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
15.If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason.

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